damned if I do ya', damed if I don't
by Rhiabrey Skye
Summary: / In which Sam and Freddie decide being together is the only way to show they love each other. oneshot


SO OMG. iOMG was epic. The rest of season 4 is also bound to be just as epic...DID YOU SEE THE PROMO FOR iLMM? Oh. My. Goodness.

I would flail some more but I've done most of that on Tumblr already. Oh, yea, and if you want to follow me I'm _SeddieLUV_-Tumblr&Twitter. Oh! and I'm not sure of this...but I heard somewhere that Sam was born in Chicago? Correct me if im wrong.

And HUGE HUGE thank you to Josh (_The Earl Of Sandwich _for helping me with this.)

This is part of the cabal Summer posting... :) and yes, Woobaka is indeed the parody version of Chewbacca from Star wars.

.

.

.

_My heart can't possibly break W_

_hen it wasn't even whole to start with .._

_You should have known better than to lean on me_

_You never thought of anyone else..Because of you_

_I don't know how to let anyone else in_

* * *

><p>It's interesting and almost weird, but for some odd reason, they're always the first to know everything about each other.<p>

Like they were best friends or something.

.

.

.

"I'm grounded." he straight out tells her when they're sitting at lunch.

Chuckling, she opens her brown paper bag, pulling out a PB&J, "Ha. What'd you do?"

He's twiddling his thumbs in his lap and Sam's raising an eyebrow at him, amused at how uncomfortable he is. His eyes are darting around and he clears his throat but he's not saying anything.

Sam drops her arms on the lunch table and thanks God that Carly wasn't here or she'd be telling her to leave him alone. It was a once in a year occurrence that Freddie Benson got grounded. He runs a hand through his hair and she glares, "Come on, Benson! It can't be that bad! Everyone knows you don't have one single bad bone in your body. You're a frail seventeen year old."

He glares at her and moves up closer to her face, picking up courage after her lame insult. After they'd discovered their feelings for each other, her mistreatment had begun to dial down, never hurting him as much as she used to, "Okay, I'll tell you, but _please _don't freak out."

She raises an eyebrow and smirks, "Alright..."

He clears his throat one more time and his voice lowers at least two octaves. He looks her straight in the eye, "So you know how we stayed later than usual at Carly's yesterday, right?" she nods, her eyes narrowing, "Well...when I got home, my mom was being the usual over-protective person she is-"

"Course, course."

"and she was starting to say all these stuff. I don't even know what came over her, maybe she had a bad day at the hospital, TOM, conflicting mental issues, who knows."

"Okay, Freddie, I get it, your mom was being the usual mother she always is. What did you do?"

He pauses and grinds his teeth together in annoyance, his nose flares, "I'm getting to it."

"Well get there faster!" she peals her sandwich in half and proceeds to lick just the half with the peanut butter with her tongue in one swipe.

"Okay, okay. I don't how but somehow she went from saying how I should watch the time more often to how I should try paying attention to trying to woo Carly since we'll be graduating soon and I should start to think about marriage."

She gave him this strange look, a tang of minor jealousy but mostly confusion, "Why?"

"I don't know."

"So random," she mumbles, taking the other half and licking the grape jelly also, "Plus I thought she hated her, ever since she caught you two going at it in your room."

"We weren't going at it," he takes a bite of his apple and silence comes over both of them as they chew their foods, "We were kissing." he says after he swallows.

"Same thing."

He stares at her, "No," puts the apple down on the tray, "It's not."

Sam will never understand why but ever since they've been closer, he always gets mad or annoyed when people brought the topic of him and Carly up.

"Anyway," he continues, "she kept saying how _Carly's so perfect, you should stay away form that Sam girl_," she rolls her eyes, almost seeming hurt, "and I would tell her, you know, how we feel about each other, but she's not ready for that, let alone are we..." he watches as Sam moves around in her seat as she reaches in her bag for her Elmo juice box, "but instead all I said was _no mom, I'll figure something out _and she started calling me all this random stuff, like how I always leave things to the last minute and that I'm selfless and too free spirited for doing that, and how I'll fail at life - not her words exactly, but I knew what she was trying to say."

She gives him a half smile as she poked a hole in with her straw, "Okay, then what?"

he started tapping on the table, "I just got _so angry_..." he pauses for a moment and stares at her hands. Sam is in shock at the moment, not believing Mrs. Benson would say these things, "So..."

Her mouth is agape as the straw lays on her bottom lip, she looks around and then leans in and whispers, "You didn't hit her did you?"

Freddie gasps, "_What_? No!"

"Okay, okay sorry dude. As you were saying." she motions with her hand for him to continue.

"I yelled at her." he says after a moment of more chewing.

A smile twitched to form on her lips, "Meaning?

"I told her to shut the eff up." he mumbled. Sam's mouth was in shock as she stared at him in disbelieve.

"Are you serious?" Freddie's gaze drifted back to the table as if he was disappointed with himself. Sam's expressions softened and she frowned and reached over and put her hands over his, "Now...did you actually say the word or..."

He shakes his head, his eyes still on her hands on his, "No, no...I said it."

She pushes his hands away and throws her fist on the table, "Dude! She doesn't disserve that! I mean, she's old and crippled, and obviously doesn't have a strong heart, look at me, even _I _feel bad for her-" he rolls his eyes, "wow you could've easily given her a heart attack."

"Yea. thanks for making me feel better, Sam." after another few minutes he says, "God, I feel like such an asshole. You should've seen her face, Sam."

"Nah, I'm good. I see enough of it already. Nor would I like to when she's near cardiac arrest, thank you very much." the hollow sounds of the straw sucking up the last drops of the juice in the box echoes in their ears before she tosses it to the side, "Stupid little thing doesn't serve for anything."

He looks at the little juice box with Elmo's face contorted and smiles before chucking softly.

.

.

.

She sitting there across from him, softly poking at her iceberg lettuce with her fork, "You know..." she starts after a moment of stabbing her food and places her fork down on the plate. She eyes her son from across the table, who seems to have avoided eye contact all evening, "What happened to you, Freddie?" his eyes stop as he stares at the cup in front of him filled with water, "It's like I don't even know my son anymore."

He takes in a deep breath, sadness filling his heart as he licks his lips, taking in those words. When he's done with his food, he puts it in the sink, "Maybe I'm finally growing up, mom."

She stares as he slams his bedroom door closed.

.

.

.

He's met a girl, and it all starts with a simple, "Thank you." when she drops her seven-eleven bag on the floor and he bends down to help her pick the things up off the floor. He lifts his head and he's met with piercing hazel eyes that send a shiver down his spine.

He wonders if this is alright, if maybe he could feel this way about another girl. It's not like him and Sam are in a relationship so he wouldn't be doing anything wrong. So that same day he finds out her favorite color, music type, movies, and even favorite foods.

They go out on a date that Saturday and where he pretends to not see Sam walk by the window, though he does and so does she.

.

.

.

She's sitting on her bed and he walks up from behind her, she hears his footsteps against her carpet. She's watching the rain platter against her window and she's trying to ignore the fact things are different now. And they can't go back.

"Hey..." his voice is deep and it triggers some kind of fire deep within her. If possible, that fire gets bigger when he places his warm hand on her shoulder, rubbing it there with his thumb.

"What are you doing here?" she shrugs his hand off and turns around to face him, her breath gets caught in her throat once she see's those eyes looking straight at her, "You look more dorky than usual." he bites the inside of his mouth before rolling his eyes, "your freakish mother freak out again? God Benson, you're such a -"

"Can we, at least, _try _to have _one _civil converstaion for once?" he doesn't yell, he doesn't have to. Just saying it softly already captures her attention. He looks back down at her and sees she's giving him a blank stare. He would kill to find out what was going on in that messed up head of hers, tries to ignore the hurt look that crossed her face when she saw him with that beautiful brunnette with the gorgeous hazel eyes.

"Okay," she mutters, "talk."

he looks around the room nervously, putting his hands in his front pockets. Suddenly he was so nervous, but he couldn't be. Surprisingly, he was the strongest one in this situation. This stupid situation that he didn't even have a title for. It wasn't a friendship, not a friends with benefits-(God, no.) he's honestly never been so confused in his entire eighteen years of living.

"What are we?" he speaks suddenly, his voice breaking over the sound of thunder.

she stares at him, first glaring, but her facial features soften quickly and she licks her lips, eyes falling to his gray chuck taylors'.

"Friends." she says, just a little louder above a whisper. He's just standing there for the next five minutes as they take in each other's silence of screams and pleases before and spins himself around and lets her bedroom door close behind me.

At that moment he promises to hold a fight against her. They were simply just _friends _so if she were to start getting mad at him, he had all the right to get just as mad at her. Maybe more.

.

.

.

They're in his room, and it's quiet, serene, almost.

"What's her name?"

He stares at her then licks his lips before starring at the floor but drifting them back to her face just as fast. He sees the stares she's giving him, her arms crossed over her chest - as if to show she'll actually go strong through this. Like this conversation isn't hurting her in any way.

"Jessica." she looks away from him, sucks her bottom lip into her mouth. He denies the tremble he sees in them. She quickly picks up her composure and walks up to him, but maintaining their safe distance between each other.

"Okay."

He narrows his eyes at her and clears his throat in confusion, "Okay?"

her blue eyes are bright as she shrugs her shoulder, "Yea, okay." She raises an eyebrow and taps her foot once nonchalantly, "Why? What'd you expect me to say?"

he opens his mouth to say something, expecting himself to already have an answer to this question, but surprisingly he had none, "_Freddie, I don't want you to see anyone because I know we're not seeing each other but we still have feelings for one another_?"

He stares at her and he feels the same way he did when she kissed him in the lock-in, "I..." he sighs and sighs before deciding he should tell her, "We're not even together, Sam."

"Yea, I am aware of that."

he completely ignores her, "I mean, we don't even do all the couple stuff like go on dates or hold hands, hell, the most we've done is talk after that day and we both admitted to having feelings for another, but nothing happened after."

"We never mentioned we wanted to be together." her nose flares and her voice is strangely calm, "So don't turn this all around on me, I didn't do anything wrong."

He stares at her lips and then back at her eyes, "Yea, well neither did I. I'm not the one who kissed my best friend and decided we should just be friends, okay? If I were the one to have kissed you first, the first thing I would've said was that I wanted to be with you, but no, you didn't say that, _I _didn't do anything wrong."

Her mouth is agape and she stumbles on her words, "Are you..." she drops her arms and presses her lips tightly together, "Are you saying I should've asked you out?"

He stares at her in disbelief before running both his hands over his face and exhaling deeply, "What do you think, Sam? You just left me hanging there."

They stand there for a few minutes, just taking everything in. She walks over to his computer chair and sits in it and begins to play with her fingers in her lap, "And why are you saying this all now?"

He doesn't answer immediately. He does when she feels the heat of his body against her bent legs, his hands on either side of the arms of the chair. She watched the concern in his eyes as she catches them drift to her lips, her breath catching in her throat, "Sam..." he has a yearning look in his eyes as they look into hers and she stiffens, "I know, okay? I _know _we're not currently dating, but..." she breathes in deeply as she examines his face, every line, every detail, everything that made her just fall even more in love with him. And the funny part was that Freddie knew this.

They knew they loved each other, they were just afraid to take the next step. They didn't know if this was even a break up, if they weren't even together in the first place, but it sure did feel like one as he pulled back away from her, the chair falling back to it's normal place with the weight of his arms being lifted off.

"But why do I feel like I'm cheating on you?"

.

.

.

He walks by her at Carly's apartment, his stares lingering on her as his arm brushes against hers. They don't hang out as much as they did ever since that day at lunch. She wonders if she should blame this all on his mother for triggering it, or his mother for blaming it all on him and Carly. Maybe she should blame it on Carly, she thinks.

But she doesn't. She's her best friend, and she did nothing wrong.

He's waiting for her to make the next move_, this _she knows.

But she doesn't. Not yet. And her and Freddie are the ones who made the mistake of falling in love with each other.

this they know.

.

.

.

They haven't spoken in weeks. It's for their own good - just until they fall out of _it_. (love.)

.

.

.

She feels the strong vibration of her phone beneath her pillow. She thought maybe if she ignored it, it would stop. When it didn't she groaned deeply, dropping her arm over her pillow and picking up the phone to see what name was on her caller id. Anger rising in her, she answers, "Freddie, I swear. You better have a good fucking excuse for calling me at two in morning." she slurs, her brain still have asleep.

She forgets she's not (suppose to be) talking to him or the fact that she's in love with him. Her brain is partially asleep and only half of what's currently going on gets through her head. She almost falls back asleep because she's hearing nothing , just silence and the sound of his soft breathing on the other line. She can tell by the soft echoes that he's in an open room, like a bathroom.

She's finally awake when she rolls over on her back, phone still to ear and she's starring up at her ceiling. She looks over and sees that her bedroom door is closed and the rain has finally stopped for the first time in three weeks.

She's terribly mistaken when a flash of lightning brightens the room. It's been two full minutes and she's about to hang up when something brings her attention. His breathing starts picking up and she tries to deny it, but she hears a sob coming from him.

He's on the closed toilet seat, no shirt, just his boxers, and he has one hand on his flushed, red face and he clenching the phone so tightly as his body quivers and shakes. She's beginning to worry and she almost feels nauseous.

"Fredwierd...you're scaring me." this makes him cry even harder but he's trying not to be so loud. Meanwhile, Sam wonders if it's the sleep but never in a million years would she admit such a statement out loud, but then she realizes that statement could refer to how she's been feeling ever since _that night._

She's never heard him cry before, "Freddie?" she says so softly. She tries to speak again but Freddie slowly drops his hand down and he takes a few calm breaths.

"I slept with her."

She stops for a moment, taking in those delicate words. She thinks for a second, that maybe, just maybe, she fell asleep again and this was all a dream. She prayed to God that it was all a dream. Her heart jumps as the sound of thunder from outside mixed with sudden heart ache crashes into her. She realizes he must be in Jessica's bathroom right now. He's quiet again, and she doesn't know what to say. She pulls the phone away from her face to see that, yes, he is still indeed on the line.

"It's so late, Freddie..." is all she can say after she's starring at the clock.

"I know, we just fi-" he cuts himself short, his sentence runs off his tongue. Instead he goes for, "I waited till she fell asleep."

it's then that the news finally hits her like a ton of bricks. Just minutes ago, Freddie, _her _Freddie, was having sex for the first time in his life. with that girl, who wasn't her. And for some strange reason, he called her right after.

Like he wanted her to feel the pain he was feeling right now.

.

_._

.

Ever since that night, they've gotten close again. They push each other around, tease each other with such ease and pure happiness that leave glowing smiles on their faces. And they're happy things are going back to normal. No more stupid feelings to get in the way of who they are and who they were always meant to be.

They're best friends, nothing more, nothing less. While they know they both wish for something more, they don't want something more. They just want each other, and nothing to loose. _lieslieslies. _It's all they hold onto now. Even when they eating ice cream at the park and he playfully smashes her face into the snow cone and they're laughing (well, more like _he's _laughing and she's chasing him around, giving him a run for his money) he _doesn't _want to wipe it away with him fingers and lick them, he _doesn't _want to grab her around the waist, push her to the grass and kiss her senseless.

.

.

.

They're standing there in the pouring rain as they walk back to Bushwell Plaza after getting smoothies at the Groovy Smoothies.

They're both soaking wet and standing there. Hell, it's cliché, cheesy almost, but they don't care, cause it's perfect.

"You know, every girl dreams of being kissed in the rain." she's looking up at the night sky, then she brings her head back down and he's starring straight at her.

"How 'bout you, Sam? Do you dream of being kissed in the rain?" he's screaming over the downpour.

She raises an eyebrow at him and smiles softly before blushing, "I might be who I am, but I am a girl." she steps up closer to him, an inch apart them, and she curses stupid puberty for making him four inches taller than her. She looks into his eyes and says, "Of course I've always dreamt of being kissed in the rain."

And they look at each other, but neither smiles. Instead they're scared.

.

It's happening again.

.

"I like mountain more than beaches."

She hears his foot steps from behind as she's sitting in the mildly wet grass slash dunes, not carring at all if dirt or other underground particles were getting on her favorite pair of skinny jeans. She's pulling the grass out of the ground, loving the fragrant it makes mixed with the pre-thunderstorm smell.

"Well, maybe it's cause you've lived in Seattle all your life so you find it more at home." he says as he overlooks the beautiful mountains in the horizon behind the Space Needle. Thunder clouds are rolling over its peek.

"I was born in Chicago, you know." she says after he lays down beside her, his arms crossed behind his head. He watches as she's still playing with the grass, her white converse getting dirty as they laid side by side on her feet. He's looking at the side of her profile, and he swears her golden hair is shimmering.

A warm breeze comes through, making her bangs tickle her forehead.

Freddie looks down, bends his legs, making his own converse lay against hers, side by side. The thundere rumbles above them and he speaks, "What are you doing out here?"

She shrugs and whispers, "Why'd you come find me?"

"To talk." and she's scared, because she was expecting him not to answer.

They're sitting there in total silence as the rain begins to drizzle around them. She stiffens as she sees the lightning flash across the sky, she's suddenly terrified because she realizes there's a large chance they could get struck any moment. He notices this and reaches over, threading his rough hand through her soft delicate ones. _ifyoudieatleastwedietogether._

"I wanna be with you, Sam."

Her grip loosens on his hand and she shies away from him. They're quiet the rest of the storm, taking in the beauty of nature and the love between them that could never last.

.

They don't talk again for a total of five days until she gets his text for her to come over.

.

"She's pregnant, Sam." he says softly. He's sitting in his room in the corner, his back against the wall, and he's playing with his little galaxy action figures, bending one of Woobacka's arm up and down wildly.

While she's shock by this statement, knowing he must also be, she sees how childlike and small he looks at this moment, curled up into a ball like he's suddenly eight years old again.

She shuts the door softly behind her, "Does your mom know?" she sees the delicate tiny tears glistening on his cheeks that are _just _beginning to dry up.

"She was in the room when she told me. My mom slapped me..."

Sam's mouth gapes open.

He stares up at her and whispers, "Then she told Jessica to get out and stay out of my life. It was then that she said it wasn't mine."

She's relieved. A long deep breath escapes her, but she's still uncertain about how she feels. He looks unhappy, "Did you want it to be?"

His voice is stronger as he puts his toy down, "Just for a second, I thought...maybe being a daddy wouldn't be so bad. I've always wanted to have a kid, but...something was wrong. Jessica was there."

Now uncomfortable, Sam tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear and clears her throat.

"But I was relieved when she said I wasn't the father. It was like I," he looks up at her, "_we _were given another chance."

And suddenly she's angry and tired of all this shit, and she wants to be so blunt and scar both of them, just so they can finally get through their tough skulls that maybe this is all they got, that there can't be anything more, for the best of them. But he's so freaking stubborn and immature that he gets her furious and suddenly she needs to hurt him. Hurt him and leave, becuase she loves him, and they've been best friends since sixth grade. He would always be the little nerd with the squeaky voice, platform shoes, awkward clothes, and four feet 2 inches tall.

Except he wasn't. Were they really about to turn _twenty _just next year?

This boy she doesn't know. He's built, firmer, fierce, almost six feet. and she _hates _him. "Does it hurt, Freddie?" she hisses, tears burning to escape her eyes, "To have sex with someone who you wish were someone else?" her voice cracks before she walks out, letting the door slam behind her.

It's at times like these that they wish they weren't so afraid.

.

.

.

But he feels like he's had enough. Taking all the courage he has in the world's he running after her and tears are burning to escape his body but he _wont _let them fall, not now at least.

And he watches as she's about to slam his front door closed when she sees him and suddenly she stops because he's never _ever _ran after her. He always let her get away.

And they're worn-out and weary, it's about time some finished this stupid, hideous, insubstantial, beautiful game of denial. It's in his eyes.

"I'm tired of this shit." he grits through his teeth quietly as he watches her. She looks so vulnerable in his eyes. _Maybe she was always like that_, he wonders, "I'm sick, sick and _tired _of always letting you not letting me do anything. Because you don't break a special connection by ripping off one end and letting the other just hang there. Not unless you're meaning to hurt someone, and I _know_, god, I _know _you would never do that to me, because I know you love me."

"So just _stop lying_ and lets face this fact that's laying straight in front of us. Stop _running away from me _and let me have you." his voice has dialed down to a whisper. He starts walking up to her and he takes her hand off his door knob, "Maybe," he cries, starring into her blue crystal eyes, "maybe we're suppose to fall in love. Maybe if we stopped being such cowards we wouldn't be in this stupid situation, watching our lives fall beneath us."

There are tears streaking down her face as she takes his words in, "I never wanted to fall in love with you." she sobs.

"But it happened, Sam."

"You don't understand how much this affects me."

"I don't -?"

"I don't like change. Fuck, I hate a lot of things in this messed up world, but the one thing that terrifies me the most is change, and having you in my life forever, doing things with you like kiss, have babies, spend the rest of our lives together-" she cuts herself short and takes a deep breath. a tear rolls down her cheek, "Do you even see how big of a change that'd be? I cant - I cant see us in an alter, or me in a labor room holding a little baby girl with your nose and my eyes, or us fighting and having amazing make up..." her sentence rolls off her tongue and she swallows hard, taking in his also tears running down his own face. He's shaking his head slowly back and forth, disagreeing with everything she's saying.

"Yes, Freddie, okay? I can't be with you, and you can't be with me. This whole thing was a mistake. Meeting you was a big huge mistake."

"Fuck you, that's not true!" he yells so loud he wonders if Carly and Spencer heard from the other side of the door. He runs up to her so fast she almost falls over. He has such a tight grip on her elbows that he knows he causing her physical pain, "don't you _ever_, Sam, _ever_ say that again." he ends on a soft tone.

"It's true." she hisses bitterly in his face, "I hate you, you hate me. It'll always and forever be that way."

"Oh, my..." he gives her a look, "we _both _know that's not true. It's a stupid game we've been playing to hide what's really there. and, Sam, we both know what's really there. So why don't you open your eyes and see for yourself what I'm seeing?"

They're both breathing heavy, both from lack of breath and because they were relieved that what they wanted to be said all this time was finally out there. Tears run down her face and she's looking into his eyes, "_I just need closure._" he's shaking his head back in forth and he's whispering _no no, Sam. _and she repeats it again and he's finally still. All the love in the world is in his eyes as his grips loosen on her arms and he lets her go, but they don't move.

Her breath hits off his jaw. She's so close to him, and they wont move.

Until he knows what's about to happen. He's dreamt of this moment multiple times since the lock in. (What started everything). He'd wanted to feel her lips on his again ever since that day. He had been the strongest one at the beginning, but now she was the real strong one who was about to lean in the rest of the way.

Her hand raises up to his face and softly caresses his baby soft skin _he's just shaved this morning _she realizes, and his skin feels so strong and manly in her palm. She's shaking and she's frightened, but she steps up onto her tippy toes, placing a sloppy, but delicate, kiss on his lips.

He's staring at her in admiration, but she has this sad look on her face because he didn't respond like she'd expected. _I thought you wanted this _her eyes say.

but to him her eyes say _I just want closure_.

She's now more self conscious that she's ever been in her entire life as they just stand there in pure utter silence. Much more deafening then the one they shared at the lock in.

But it's short lived when he takes his left hand quickly - _that's the had he writes with. he's a lefty_ - and he runs his hand up the side of her face through her hair, grabbing the side of her face tightly and tilting her head up and smashing his lips against hers.

.

.

.

He's slamming her up against the wall, her hands everywhere as he assaulted her mouth with the sloppiest of kisses, not caring that he was being rough and un-gentlemanly and he grinds his groin against hers, shoving her back impossibly closer to the wall, his grip on her hips hurting her.

She doesn't care because she can feel every inch of _him _and, God, she wants more and _more._

She lets him take her then and there in the hallway.

_._

_._

_._

He's on the couch, and she's starring right at him. He's happier than he's ever been the past few weeks. Last night was undeniably the most amazing night of his life. When they had finished, they were both quivering in the heat of their clothes - they hadn't undressed much - as they still stood connected, crying into each others shoulders.

And now he's more than sure that he's ready. He's told her he needs to tell her something, something big. She's almost scared, not believing her son could have gotten into any more trouble than he already is.

She's giving him this long cold stare, not trusting her mouth enough to let it open. So he just stands there in front of her, with all the pride in the world.

"I love her, mom." he starts off, his voice deep and meaningful, and he's giving her this look that makes her heart swell, "She gets me, you know? She loves me too. We're in love." he takes a deep breath and swallows deeply, "She's...beautiful, sweet, deep, God, she's everything I've been looking for."

He moves closer to her and they sit there in silence before he states, "We're gonna get married some day." she looks up at him in shock and he's suddenly not that same coward eighteen year old. He's older now, more with more courage, "and we're.." he smiles softly, "we're gonna have a little house with a little tree swing, and babies.." he stops himself short. His smile fades.

"Mom," he places his hand on her knee and she's wondering when his hand got so large. It used to be so tiny, an inch maybe, just a couple years ago. She remembers trying to put the whole thing into her mouth-it always did- making him giggle. Now it was almost two inches bigger than her own, "If you just let me be happy, just let me be with her..." he takes a deep breath and their starring at each other, a stare that's saying so much.

She can't believe how her son has become a man, the soft stubble, almost a shadow, on his face, his facial features of a true man, "I'll be so so happy, ma."

She smiles softly, squeezes his hand and brings him in for one of the most meaningful hugs of his life.

* * *

><p><em>Because of you<em>

_I am afraid_

* * *

><p><strong>Read<strong>

**~The CABAL~**

**aussiemma, axel100, BaalRules, BoxOfTrinkets, boxofpiglets, Champagne Scene, Coyote Laughs, Deviocity, Hartful13, hidden-in-the-pictures, ItalianBabexo8, iCabal, iCarlyangst, iLuvNathanKrEsS, JamesTheGreater, KingxLeon21, Myjumpingsocks, ober22, pairababes, pearlbutton328, Pieequals36, pigwiz, Tech-Man, The Earl of Sandwich, twowritehands, Virgoleo23, Waffles Of Doom, xXACCEBXx**

**From fluff, to face melting angst.**

**The Cabal authors produce the best.**

**Be sure to look for postings by many of your favorite Cabal authors this weekend!**


End file.
